Drawing Strength
When the strength card pops up in a tarot reading the imagery of the card is of a fair woman sticking her hand, or head in the mouth of a lion of a beast or monsterous perportions and size. "To conquer your fears!" Some people may see and begin to reflect on when this card comes up. And they're not wrong. But 'conquer' is the wrong word to be used in this particular situation. If you judge your life as a series of conquests to seek out and win, then perhaps this card is the right card for you.
"Strength" talks about our inner beasts, monsters and demons: not to be conquered but to be worked with.
If you are indeed the sort who sees life as one giant conquest to be had, when the strength card comes up it's asking you to be brave and show courage as you need to work with your inner beast, your temptations, you urges, your lusts. Where do they come from and then why? Why is the need for conquest the driving force in your life? Where did that come from? I'll give you a hint... If it's power you crave as you seek conquest in all aspects of life: then you feel you have no control of your own in your. You push the need to control and conquer life and the bounty in it to fill a void, a need that will not be filled until you are ready to look within yourself and face why the need to conquer and control is important.
Inner strength is know your inner beast and demons and work with them. Courage and bravery isn't not being afraid; it's doing what's right in spite of being afraid. Until you are willing to face yourself in this way, you will repeat this cycle over and over and over again. Trying desperately to fill a void that will never be filled.
Who We Are.
I had a dilemma of Ethics the other day in regards to the Ethical practice of holistic healing and as a wellness practitioner. For a brief moment, I lost faith in personal and professional ethics. That in this world gone mad that deems my life & existence as a transgender gal forfeit that I need to do what i must to guard my serenity at all costs. To this, I started to question the nature of Ethics if the world decreed that they are meaningless anyway. With everything that's been going on in the US since the election, the rampant fear, the confusion, I too needed a moment to gather my thoughts because I'm human and not immune to being upset.
Still, when I expressed my feelings to friends: one illuded that I should close the practice in order to follow personal ethics. It upset me to the point that two days later I'm still working on calming down from it. I know that this friend meant well... Instead of letting it drag me down I let it fuel me and a tenacity to search for answers.
But it begins with a question: Who are we?
Are we going to devolve into primal and tribalistic minds that only tollerate their own, like minded in regards to the well-being of their tribe while adopting an extreme form of "it's us or them" mind? Or do we hold on to what we've taken time to nurture and create for the better good for not just for ourselves but for our communities at large and to help a brighter future for all equally? Who are we? Do we set aside the sufferages of others who don't align with our personal biases? Or are we the sort of people who can set aside our personal biases and egos to serve the greater good for the benefit of all?
Is this who are we?
It took falling back and refreshing myself on my professional Ethics and reminding myself of why I chose to walk the path that I do. At one point I needed these services I provide whilst living in a situation that was not too kind to me. I do my part and offer these services so that if possible someone like me will have these services I didn't have. I work in shadow work because as a gal with DID who needed intensive inner work, there was no other way but to face the monsters and demons within. And then the hardest part of facing my own inner demons and monsters within was in realizing that I am the monsters, and that I am the cause of my own happiness & joys and my deepest sorrows.
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