SCRH: The Shamanic Gardens 2. Who We Are

Drawing Strength

When the strength card pops up in a tarot reading the imagery of the card is of a fair woman sticking her hand, or head in the mouth of a lion of a beast or monsterous perportions and size. "To conquer your fears!" Some people may see and begin to reflect on when this card comes up. And they're not wrong. But 'conquer' is the wrong word to be used in this particular situation. If you judge your life as a series of conquests to seek out and win, then perhaps this card is the right card for you.

"Strength" talks about our inner beasts, monsters and demons: not to be conquered but to be worked with.

If you are indeed the sort who sees life as one giant conquest to be had, when the strength card comes up it's asking you to be brave and show courage as you need to work with your inner beast, your temptations, you urges, your lusts. Where do they come from and then why? Why is the need for conquest the driving force in your life? Where did that come from? I'll give you a hint... If it's power you crave as you seek conquest in all aspects of life: then you feel you have no control of your own in your. You push the need to control and conquer life and the bounty in it to fill a void, a need that will not be filled until you are ready to look within yourself and face why the need to conquer and control is important.

Inner strength is know your inner beast and demons and work with them. Courage and bravery isn't not being afraid; it's doing what's right in spite of being afraid. Until you are willing to face yourself in this way, you will repeat this cycle over and over and over again. Trying desperately to fill a void that will never be filled.

Who We Are.

I had a dilemma of Ethics the other day in regards to the Ethical practice of holistic healing and as a wellness practitioner. For a brief moment, I lost faith in personal and professional ethics. That in this world gone mad that deems my life & existence as a transgender gal forfeit that I need to do what i must to guard my serenity at all costs. To this, I started to question the nature of Ethics if the world decreed that they are meaningless anyway. With everything that's been going on in the US since the election, the rampant fear, the confusion, I too needed a moment to gather my thoughts because I'm human and not immune to being upset.

Still, when I expressed my feelings to friends: one illuded that I should close the practice in order to follow personal ethics. It upset me to the point that two days later I'm still working on calming down from it. I know that this friend meant well... Instead of letting it drag me down I let it fuel me and a tenacity to search for answers. 

But it begins with a question: Who are we?

Are we going to devolve into primal and tribalistic minds that only tollerate their own, like minded in regards to the well-being of their tribe while adopting an extreme form of "it's us or them" mind? Or do we hold on to what we've taken time to nurture and create for the better good for not just for ourselves but for our communities at large and to help a brighter future for all equally? Who are we? Do we set aside the sufferages of others who don't align with our personal biases? Or are we the sort of people who can set aside our personal biases and egos to serve the greater good for the benefit of all?

Is this who are we?

It took falling back and refreshing myself on my professional Ethics and reminding myself of why I chose to walk the path that I do. At one point I needed these services I provide whilst living in a situation that was not too kind to me.  I do my part and offer these services so that if possible someone like me will have these services I didn't have. I work in shadow work because as a gal with DID who needed intensive inner work, there was no other way but to face the monsters and demons within. And then the hardest part of facing my own inner demons and monsters within was in realizing that I am the monsters, and that I am the cause of my own happiness & joys and my deepest sorrows.

SCRH The Shamanic Gardens 1, Lanntair Aratosh

Lanntair Aratosh: Scottish Gaelic for Aratosh's Lantern: 

A random design for a Satirical Mock Tarot Card goes through a transformation and several paths of inspiration. It is now become the symbol and logo of SCRH: Savanna's Crystal Reiki Healing - The Shamanic Gardens

Original Concept:

Each Tarot Card has a number on it; but for a series of Satirical Tarot Cards I wanted something that was off the beaten path and once forgotten. As it turns out as I though about it my thought drifted to the D'ni numerical system of the Myst Games and Book Series by the Rand Brothers. The Card I was drawing was a mockery of VI The Lovers which gave me the number 6. In the D'ni numerical system the number 6 looks like a square criss crossed into vertical & horizontal quarters or a 4 pane window. But because I am needing this alternate number design for a drawing I felt it needed to be embellished in a semi gothic manner.

The original design of the Lantern was not nearly as polished... it was a rough design, as seen here but I had what I was looking for.

Satirical Mock Tarot Card: D'ni 6

"Be Aware, I Play Dumb In Person

Really Well"

16th of Oct 2024

Over time and continued drawing this embellished and elaborate D'ni 6 becomes something I can draw on any picture like a signature and I know its one of mine. While the idea was short lived as I continued through an intensive self healing journey & endured the gut punch that the 6th of Nov offered I left the design and its evolution alone because my mind and muse was not in it. 

I started to calm down a week later and picked up drawing again in another Mock Tarot Card using the embellished D'ni 6, but it occurs to me that it serves another purpose to me if I'm using it as more as a signature rather than a number: instead of D'ni 6 I come to know it as Erin's Lantern: my personal mark... if not a provisional Digital Logo to the practice that I've been neglecting out of general burnout. 

Savanna's Crystal Reiki Healing Provisional Logo

Erin's Lantern©

26th of Oct 2024

Now with the personal Healing Journey coming to a close, and I'm beginning to grow and move forward in my life the Lantern which has been a form of guide in the latter part of my journey started being associated with the Tarot Card IX The Hermit as Erin's Lantern is my lantern in the darkness. 

As an aside, as a means to find a way to blow off steam and eliminate tension and anxiety about what's going on around me, I started playing a new survival game set in Moria in Tolkien's Middle Earth. I created a new character but I suck at generating names. I used the random name generator until I landed on a name I really liked... but it didnt look entirely right, so I made a minor edit to the name and not only did it stick with me - it was a hard resonating, as if its always been mine and i just rediscovered it:

Aratosh.

Naming Erin's Lantern into Aratosh's Lantern is not something that came to me immediately as I piddled around in games. I was also procrastinating. I am the owner and practitioner of Savanna's Crystal Reiki Healing and I've been tossing the idea of offering Spiritual Life Coaching and Shamanic Healing utilizing Shadow Work as the main focus of the practice. The idea is exciting to me, but also frightening. At some point a couple weeks later I figure that I had procrastinated enough and I think I want to begin working on. 

I turned on a Digital Art program and decided to remake the Erin's Lantern Logo into something more substantial than what I made before. initially the lantern was nearly complete in being fleshed out - emphasis on the flesh, as the design took on a brass color and flesh lantern paper for the lights. As I went down for sleep that night I thought hard about the days of work I placed into the Logo Remake that I wasn't too attached to. I fell asleep dreaming of remaking the whole thing in the likeness of gold lined black marble.

When I awoke I went to work redoing the whole update to the design and how to fill out the picture. I turned on my favorite music which is darker Metalcore & Violincore with Imminence and their album The Black. The more I focused on the black marble look bit by bit, the more I love how its turning out. 

SCRH: Savanna's Crystal Reiki Healing Logo

The Shamanic Gardens: Spiritual Life Coaching & Shamanic Healing

Lanntair Aratosh©

23rd of Nov 2024

Once the picture was done and I sat back in my chair to behold the fruits of my labor. The atmosphere of the design is what really makes it stand out to me. I was also listening to a dark instrumental interlude called "L'uppel du Vide" which is that helped set the tone of the rendition. Its dark. It's intended to be dark because the Erin's Lantern design is my version of The Hermit's Lantern. This got my creative juices working a little harder as a poem started coming to mind.

"Luppel du Vide:" Call of the Void, reminds me of my own healing journey which the band Imminence was a big part to inspire me to move forward. The next track in the album "The Black" was instrumental in inspiring me to face the fact I've gone into the Void before at my lowest points in my life. The Hermit is imagery that challenges me to sit with my own inner light and be comfortable in my own skin.

When I set down to finally write the poem I had the idea to put the favorite game handle of Aratosh to the design as Aratosh's Lantern. Because of my connection to Celtic Spirituality I translated the title of the picture into Scottish Gaelic. 

"Lanntair Aratosh: Aratosh's Lantern - is a lantern in the darkness. The Lantern is dark. Whomever should pick up this Lantern, should they have faith in the spirit they possess enough to shine brightly with their own inner light: Only then will the Lantern light."